I'm back from Jazz Camp! :)

Wow! Jazz Camp was amazing, inspirational, relaxing, wonderful, uplifting, educational, cleansing, filling, creative, and also a good kick in the butt... just what I needed before giving birth to our baby girl.

I met and enjoyed some really great people, experienced mind-blowing and moving performances, laughed, hugged, cried, learned, danced and lived a lot. It was also wonderful to be able to share it with my 2 brothers, Felipe and Gonzalo. Ahhh....I come back feeling both grounded and much more free.

There are so many stories to tell from Jazz Camp, I don't know where to begin... Two people I really appreciated getting to know better were Madeline Eastman and Stacey Hoffman, the main organizers of camp.These woman are amazing in so many ways. They've been running the camp for almost 25 years and giving so much of themselves for us to have the life-changing experiences we all have there. Plus they are amazing friends and are so good to each other. I really look up to them. :)

Madeline (on the right) is the Artistic Director, a hilarious person, and phenomenal vocalist. When she performs it really makes you listen and feel something. Well, it was a total honor to be able to be in her and Art Lande's (great person, musician, composer, improviser, drummer and educator) class called "Digging in Deep". We had to audition for it and I was one of the lucky 8 to be picked to participate.We learned about storytelling and how to be present and honest in our interpretation of a tune. What was so cool about this class was that, for me, I had heard these concepts and tools before but for whatever reason it hadn't sunk in. In class they really made us practice all these concepts in real-time and didn't let us slide if we didn't get it. They did this in a very supportive and productive way which was great. Because the class was so small they had the time to really work with each of us. We all got to sing almost every day but even when the focus was on another vocalist, we learned tremendously. This was the first time they offered this class and I really hope they do it again! :)

I also have to say the Madeline and Art make such a great combination. Oh, Art's playing is joyful, original, heartfelt and just plain fun to sing to. They are definitely a GREAT team!

The other class that had a huge impact on me didn't have anything to do with music, on the surface, but actually had everything to do with making good music. This class was Stacey's "Performance Anxiety" class. This class ended up being my home-base, a place to really let my guard down and learn to relax when I start feeling anxious about performing, about giving birth, about being a parent... about life! :) The tools she teaches are life-savers and I am committed to use them everyday because it really works! I recommend any person take this class even if you are not a musician - who doesn't get anxious some times? BTW, in addition to all the work she does for Rhythmic Concepts Inc (the non-profit that runs Jazz Camp and tons of other worthwhile organizations such as the Oakland Interfaith Gospel Choir and "In the name of Love" an annual musical tribute honoring Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. to name just two), Stacey is also a licensed psychotherapist and has a private practice in Berkeley. Did I forget to mention that she is the most adorable and sexy thing when she performed in her Mambo, Cha Cha Cha and Son (long 'o') class taught by Royland Lobato? Wow, did I not say these woman are amazing?! :)

Another huge impact this year came to me by participating in an Afro Brazilian dance class taught by Conceicao Damasceno with live percussion by John Santos and his class. She taught us a dance in celebration of Yemanja, the goddess of the ocean and love. At the beginning of the week she mentioned to me that she would like me to dance with my belly out - I sort of winced at the thought. My belly is huge now and I couldn't quit get my head around exposing myself like that. Well, throughout the week we learned the movements which were very grounded and fluid as if moving though the ocean.

She hadn't mentioned my exposed belly again (and I was secretly relieved) until about 10 minutes before the performance! She turns to me and starts pulling my blouse up and saying in her beautiful Brazilian accent, "OK, we need to show your belly now, yes?" Well, I instantly went into a panic - my face got hot, my heart was racing, and I felt a little dizzy. I have body image issues for sure (do you know of anyone that doesn't?) and being in this engorged state is no joke. I used Stacey's techniques to help calm me down. I remembered what Madeline and Art said about being present and honest. I sang a song one of my new friends, Alison, taught me that helps her calm down. My brother Gonzalo was also there to help me.

I controlled my breathing.
I thought about Gemma.

I decided to do it and give Gemma the gift of a mother who is proud of her body and her baby inside. Gosh, it makes me cry just saying that out loud . . . . . . b r e a t h . . . . .

I was so happy I took the leap and did it. And I was proud of myself that I was very present and in my body during the performance. Many people came up to me afterwards to tell me how powerful the image of me dancing was for them. In the US people don't get to see the naked pregnant belly very often (much less dancing). Our culture doesn't celebrate pregnancy and motherhood like some other countries do - something that I hope we can change little by little. This dance was my offering. Plus I hope I helped other women with body image issues - I know it helped me.

Gosh, like I said, there are so many stories to tell. I haven't even talked about my open mic with Randy Porter, Rebecca Green and my brother Gonzalo (my first time performing with him!) or the bon fire, big bands, faculty performances, vocal ensembles, the combos, Benny Green!, Kate McGarry and prying my ears open, my brothers' open mics (they both got one!), learning the rumba clave finally (thank you Carolyn!), dancing all night, land of Art-tic, Gospel Choir, the 'Cherry not no berry' song, Sophie's song, Mel Sharp and the trombonius play, my cabin mates, Kid Beyond and the beats, all the amazing blues performances, the fantastic dance performances, the wonderful people I met... the list goes on and on...

So I'll leave you with a picture of Indian Bowl
and one of me and my brothers on the last night of camp - we danced until 2:30am!Oh, and Gemma and I did really well physically. Thank you Madeline and Stacey for those golf carts!!!! I took my breaks when I needed them and she seemed to really enjoy the music. I think Gemma grew that week too, literally! People really noticed it too. Can't wait to meet her and have her join me at Jazz Camp - my hubby, Scott, fully supports the idea - I'm so lucky! :)

ps. If anyone reading this has any pictures of the Yemanja dance or my open mic, please please please send them to me: sandoval.rosaura@gmail.com :)

Gracias!